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Ride log: Rattle My Bones 2009

Rattle My Bones 2009

August 14, 2009 — For each scooter season here in the Twin Cities, there is one event that defines the year: Rattle My Bones. This year was no exception. The last three years have really — at least in my opinion — been extremely good events. The first year of RMB was also my first time attending a scooter rally. I didn’t even own a bike yet, but still had a great time. I couldn’t believe there was such a thing, let alone that it included stuff like gymkhana, paintball jousting, or hundreds of scooters of every make, model and decade. Last year I learned the pure adrenaline sport that is ride blocking. This year was all of that and more.

Ride Log: RMB Check Ride #2

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August 1, 2009 — When I set off for the Square Peg Diner this morning, I had to check the date. Although the calendar said it was the first of August, the temperature seemed more like the first of October. The partially overcast skies with their patches of sunlight and lightly gusting winds felt all too much like autumn. It’s been a very, very mild summer in Minnesota this year. This on the heals of a particularly long, cold and wet winter. I’m fine with it though. I spent my youth in the deep south and I’ve had all the summer heat I need. All the same, my mesh riding jacket felt pretty insufficient as I headed across the river.

Ride Log: RMB Check Ride #1

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June 20, 2009 — Today The Mrs and I got together with a handful of other scooterists for a fresh installment of what was the highlight of last riding season. We met Joe — aka “Kennylibido” — at the Square Peg Diner in Minneapolis for the first of many test rides of the route for the “big ride” at Rattle My Bones this year.

Rattle My Bones 2008: Gymkhana

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Day Three — No really, it’s a scooter obstacle course. After the thrill of blocking had run its sharp half-life through my system, I found myself once more at BlueCat Motors. The ride went great. No major incidents, nobody that we know of got lost or separated. Nobody wrecked. Pretty much everybody had a great time.

There is really only one thing about RMB that I could complain about. When there’s an activity, such as a meal, it needs to really get going right away. There were two activities at BlueCat Motors — the “pig roast”, and the gymkhana. In both cases, neither got going with any sort of expediency. That ended up being a real detriment to both events. People didn’t know when food was happening, and it actually interrupted the start of the gymkhana. And once the gymkhana eventually got rolling again, people had pretty much lost interest if they hadn’t up and completely left. Which is too bad because it was pretty darn entertaining.

Rattle My Bones 2008: Blocking the big ride

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Day Three — Blocking is my new favorite thing. Last year, when I attended the Rally without a scooter, I had a great time. My favorite part was the gymkhana — a scooter obstacle course and no, I’m not making that up. What I didn’t do, because I was sans-scooter, was participate in any of the group rides. I didn’t have the nerve to ask anybody to let me ride cupcake, so I pretty much just sat that part out. Boy was I missing out!

Here’s the thing. All practical use aside, riding a scooter is really, really fun. The only thing more fun that riding a scooter, is riding a scooter in a group. I learned this months ago after joining the Heck’s Angels, only to have it further reinforced during what I can only describe as Pizza Lucé rides. There’s something really exciting about zipping along with a group of a dozen or so scooterists, in staggered formation, all growling and snarling in the least intimidating manner possible. The looks you get from other cars, from pedestrians, and other 2-wheel riders are just classic. Basically, it’s a big grin parade.

Rattle My Bones 2008: The evening rides

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Day Two — “Hey Marty, hold up!” No sooner did we return from the history ride was it time to head over to Scooterville for the evening rides. This would be the first time most of the rally group would converge. Four separate rides would leave Scooterville around 7:00, weave their separate routes, and then re-converge upon BlueCat Motors in St. Paul.

Scooterville sits on a little U-shaped street that leaves and then re-joins Cedar Ave. There are several bars and clubs on this U and even another motorcycle shop. So whenever you’re at Scooterville, there’s always something coming around the U to get back onto Washington/Cedar/Minnehaha Ave. While we were gathering for the evening ride, some guy rolled up in a Delorean tricked out in fabulous Back To The Future fashion. I would hope that there’s even a Flux Capacitor inside. What was even more entertaining though, was how at least half a dozen people with cameras in gun holsters rushed the street to grab a photo of the guy as he waited to turn at the stop sign. I bet he gets that a lot.

Rattle My Bones 2008: The History Ride

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Day Two — Today was the real start of the rally. Two events on Friday. The first was a daytime sightseeing ride aimed at showing the out-of-towners the sites around the Twin Cities. Being a non-native, I wanted for sure to be on this ride. Starting at the official hotel, about 40 scoots gathered for what was supposed to be a small, informal ride. But with that kind of turn-out, a couple of us had to step up and do some ad hoc blocking to get everybody through the intersections. All well and good by me.

Rattle My Bones 2008: Lead up

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Day One — A year ago, my scooter obsession hit fever pitch. I have always loved the idea of scooters ever since I saw my first Honda Elite when I was a kid. It looked like a spaceship. Like a spaceship that could take me anywhere. I also distinctly remember a credit card commercial from my youth where a blonde musical artist, whose name escapes me, was so proud that she’d found the perfect vintage Vespa for her husband. “He’s just going to love it.” I remember being completely enamored with that sky blue, curvy Italian dream machine and wishing that she were surprising me with it instead.

But one year ago this week was when I attended the 2007 Rattle My Bones Twin Cities Scooter Rally. I registered, paid my $25, got my wrist band, bought raffle tickets, observed the gymkhana, all without actually being a scooter owner. But whilst I lurked, I talked to a plethora of people about what they were riding and what they’d recommend to a new rider like myself. What I didn’t expect was to find such a rich subculture of scooterists and such an active community here in the Twin Cities. Three months later I was the proud owner of a curvy, silver Italian “wasp” that had been ’round longer than I’ve been alive. Fabulous.

Nathaniel Salzman

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